Postive Ponderings-Part 3

Tool #3
Act, don't talk

The first concept I took from this rule was that its disrespectful to nag, threaten or lecture. I was thinking about this today as I started to yell out to Ava over something. I began to think on how I would feel if someone came at me like that and realized I would completely turn inward and would, honestly, be crushed. We're working on respectful relationships and those rarely include threats and nagging.

Other concepts related include:
Give up counting to three-ACT!
Ask once, then move
Don't ask, tell them what you want done
Make sure you're in the same room before you make requests of children

In my quest for a mutually respectful relationship, I asked Ava how many times she wanted me to ask her to do something. She told me three and so I countered with twice. Once more than Dr. Nelsen recommends. I'm okay with this since it was previously ten to twenty. Ha! I was just happy to make Ava a part of the process so I could remind her it was her idea, not mine, to be asked only twice.

I have also started re-phrasing my requests. Instead of "Ava would you please go brush your teeth" I offer, "Ava brush your teeth and show me when you're done". Asking assumes there is a choice. I'm not offering a choice.

The last concept, being in the same room when making requests, simply insures that the child has indeed heard you and is moving to get it done.